I think it’s about time we had a weird-ass hoedown on TCGS. That’s why I invited Bryan & The Haggards to play the show this week. The Haggards are a raucous avant-jazz tribute to the music of Merle Haggard, and they so thoroughly capture Merle’s badassness that you’ll realize Merle Haggard was a total punk-rocker.
A) Always speak about yourself in the third person. Don’t use “I.” Say your goddamn name instead.
B) Pay-per-views, where the BIGGEST fights happen are always on Sundays.
C) Be confident as fuck. Lay the smack down on your enemy. Make them afraid OR speak in a manor which gets the audience on your side. It is up to YOU whether you are the babyface (“good guy” in wrestling terms) or heel (“the bad guy).
PS - additional advice from Gethard: Find ways to use the phrase “Nassau Coliseum”.
Carly calls into TCGS, her most favorite public access variety show. When she gets through and introduces herself, Shannon recognizes her and invites the whole iCarly Gang to New York to appear in an episode. While on TCGS, Gibby once again accidentally shows his junk. Luckily, it’s on public access and nobody notices/cares.